Kevin Nealon Q&A: The stand-up comedian reveals a hilarious story of a tee shot gone awry

The stand-up comedian, Happy Gilmore star and Callaway pitchman is a 19-handicap, but he can still do damage on the course. As in, “Fore!”

What was your first experience with the game?

When I was 13, I caddied at a country club. 

Did you learn anything about life from caddying?

Well, it taught me about human nature. Golf reveals a lot about your character.

Speaking of, can you explain the appeal of trying to dink the kid in the ball cart at the driving range?

That’s the reason I go to the driving range. 

Your worst shot ever?

Well, it was the worst and the best. I was playing at a charity event and I hit a ball maybe 220 yards, and it veered toward the spectators. I yelled “Fore!” as loud as I could, and everybody covered up except one woman. My ball hit her right in the head, on the fly. From 200 yards away I could hear the crowd go, “Ooooh!” But the ball bounced off her forehead, rolled through a sand trap and up to about two feet from the pin. Then, in the distance, I heard the crowd go, “Aaaaah!”

What happened to the woman?

I went over to her and asked, “Are you okay?” She said, “Yeah, but now you better put me on The Today Show.” She thought I was Matt Lauer.

You’re the star of Callaway’s Slicers Anonymous ad campaign. What did they know about your game when they hired you? 

Well, they must have seen my game, because I’ve got a pretty nasty slice, or, as I prefer to call it, a “fade.” 

If Slicers Anonymous is a 12-step program, what’s the 12th step? 

Understand that it’s not your swing; it’s your club. 

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Well said by the Callaway pitchman! I’m curious: Is there such a thing as the yips in stand-up comedy? 

The yips. The yikes. I used to be nervous before doing my act, then those feelings went away. Then I started worrying: Am I dead?! Luckily, I’ve started to feel sick again. 

You’ve played in a bunch of televised pro-ams. Does the presence of cameras affect your game? 

Oh, man. My body used to be Jell-O. So nervous. Then they started pairing me with Charles Barkley, and suddenly my game looked a lot better. 

You once did a blood thinner commercial with the King, right?

I did. Between takes, we’d head from the putting green to the clubhouse, and he’d actually order an Arnold Palmer.

Did Arnie still have it on the putting green?

He must’ve rolled 100 putts, and I would say he sank 95 percent of them. And I would say I missed 95 percent of them.

That’s why you can’t order a Kevin Nealon in the clubhouse.

Good point.

To view Callaway’s Slicers Anonymous spot and golf guru Kevin Nealon’s fade-curing mental-game tips, click here.